men in general round 2

alright, so while at the y today (like I am nearly everyday), i get to experience probably the worst experience of my life.

i picked a treadmill following the men's public restroom urinal rule, which mathematically breaks down into the following algorithm.

1) let x(n) equal the position of a urinal where n is the number of urinals.
2) if a urinal is occupied, x(n) equals 1, else x(n) equals 0
3) let x(0) and x(n+1) equals a wall (with a value of -1)

one must choose x(n) where x(n-1) and x(n+1) <= 1 with lower values getting precedence. if the value of x(n-1) and x(n+1) > 1 you should leave that bathroom or use a stall.

anyway, i use the same algorithm to choose a treadmill, yet, someone pulled up right next to me, a bigger man, who looked like he had been lifting for hours before he got on the treadmill.

...his stench is now ingrained in my clothes, which are currently burning in my sink. never have i experienced such terrible pain and suffering from inhaling "air." i felt like gary indiana was located in this guys shirt, and his arm pits were harbingers of death by smell. i wanted to stop running, move one treadmill over and continue running, but i felt it would have been rude. when i came home, realizing how bad the smell had permeated my body, i decided it was rude of him not to warn me that prolonged exposure to him from 3 feet could cause severe bodily injury and irreparable damage to my brain.

listen, i probably don't smell great when i come home from the gym, and i'm not the greatest smelling guy at the gym, but i use liberal amounts of deodorant when i go to the gym, and make sure no one will die by running next to me.

this guy...just killed me.